Navigating That Crazy Little Thing Called Love

Dr. Nancy Wall plays Cupid 365 days a year.  As the founder of Tampa Bay Matchmakers (TBMM), Wall assists area singles in finding happy, healthy relationships through a combination of professional matchmaking and life coaching services.

This married mother of two obtained her PhD in Adult Education from USF, an MBA from Crummer Graduate School/Rollins College, and a BS in Psychology from Duke University.  She earned certifications in both Life Coaching and Matchmaking from the Coach Training Alliance, and Matchmaking Institute in New York respectively, before launching TBMM in October 2007.

Wall also enjoys giving back to the community. Proceeds from many of her events are donated to various charities, and she speaks to nonprofit organizations such as Victims of Violence, advising the women on how to maintain healthy relationships.

In honor of Valentine’s Day, Patch spoke to this relationship expert on how both singles and married couples can navigate that crazy little thing called love.

Patch: Why did you decide to start Tampa Bay Matchmakers?

Wall:  I’ve experienced my fair share of rough patches in my life, and when I’ve gotten a handle on my situation and healed, my next instinct is to automatically help other people.  When I got divorced (Wall married her second husband, Jerry, in May 2010), I was leafing through ‘Divorce for Dummies’, discovering mounds of information that no one tells you. So, I formed a single parent network for parents and their children, helping them through the craziness of this new chapter in their lives. 

When I began Life Coaching, I would pair up couples informally all the time (“So, do you know Joe …?”) and decided to combine Life Coaching and Personalize Matchmaking, which was – and still is – a unique concept to the Tampa Bay area.

Patch:  Are you a dating service?

Wall: No. We provide matchmaking for serious-minded professional individuals. 

Patch:  What is the process for a new client?

Wall:  I will meet prospective clients in a one-on-one setting and learn about them – their likes and dislikes, interests, their “non-negotiables” (characteristics and traits in a mate that they won’t budge on), priorities and more. If I know someone who is a good match, we will coordinate the entire first date – usually at a casual setting such as a Starbucks or Panera – once both parties accept.  I will even be there to formally introduce them if that makes them more comfortable.

If all goes well, we encourage the couple to trade contact information.  Regardless of whether or not the date was a success, I speak to both the man and woman (separately) post-date for honest feedback. I then have a follow-up phone call with each of them and share what the other person said about them.  From that, my clients grow and learn about themselves, which will only help with their next match …  and in life in general!  As the middle man – or woman – I get to share the good and bad news with them.

Patch: What advice do you have for married couples?

Wall: Communication and respect are key with any person in your life, whether it’s your friends, children or family members. The same goes for your spouse. Open the door when things are going well. If you start having questions about the relationship, communicate it up front and don’t wait until it’s too late. 

It takes two healthy people to form healthy couple. That person needs to respect you as a whole person – your thought processes, opinions and values.  Compromise is important, but don’t ever change yourself.  No one can keep up a façade for too long. Be your true genuine yourself; you can’t be effective in  relationship if you go around pretending to be someone you’re not.

Patch: What advice do you have for singles on Valentine's Day?

Wall:  It’s so close to the (winter) holidays, which are obviously very family-oriented. So it can be a tough time of year for some singles who get hit with consecutive holidays one after the other. I remind them that loving yourself is really important – take time for yourself and to embrace those around you, especially your friends and family that are there for you every day of the year.

Tampa Bay Matchmakers is hosting the following event for singles in Westchase. 

• Wed, Feb. 16th – Singles Business Parties VIP Party at Maloney’s Pub at 5 p.m. (9540 W. Linebaugh Ave.)

For more information on these and other events throughout the Tampa Bay area, log onto Wall's website at: www.tampabaymatchmakers.com.