Melanie Atkinson: Sellers Are From Saturn, Buyers Are from Jupiter

Back in the early 1990’s, John Gray wrote a wildly popular book, Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus.  In this book, Mr. Gray suggests that relationships can improve by understanding the communication styles of the opposite sex as well as their emotional needs. 

Whether you buy into what John Gray was selling, I would suggest that this basic principle can be applied to many situations, including real estate.

After watching so many buyers and sellers work their way through the real estate process, I have observed over the years how misunderstood the other party can be.

Take for example, an offer price.  Buyer takes days, months, weeks, maybe even a year, to look for a house that she likes enough to have her agent write up an offer.  She talks to the lender, gets a preapproval, signs her name on the last page and crosses her fingers.

Seller gets Buyer’s offer and his first reaction is, “What?!? Only $350,000? She must not be serious about buying my house.”

Assuming it is a reasonable offer given with the assistance of a qualified Realtor, buyer communicated through the contract that she liked seller’s house so much that she was willing to put the effort into writing up an offer.  If seller doesn’t see it that way then they risk starting negotiations off on the wrong foot.

Conversely, if buyer gets seller’s counteroffer and is upset that he didn’t go down in price enough for her liking, she may assume that he didn’t take her offer seriously enough.

Here’s the scoop…everyone in the situation wants to come to the same conclusion…the closing table.  Their emotional needs during the process are very different though.  Seller wants one of his most personal possessions to be highly desired.  Buyer wants to be accepted and welcomed.  If one party doesn’t feel that his/her needs are being met the whole process can be strained.  The deal may even fall apart.

Try as you may during a real estate transaction to keep it “all business,” unless you’re a bank selling a foreclosed home that you have never stepped in, you have some sort of emotional connection with what you are selling or buying.  If somehow you manage not to have an emotional connection, the other party does—I guarantee it.  Therefore, both parties should do their best to understand the communication coming at them from the other party.

This includes communication from your real estate agent.  Telling a client that he should replace the red carpet with a neutral one is not an insult to seller’s home décor taste.  It is simply our way of trying to make the house appeal to as many buyers as possible. 

So, if you ever find yourself in the middle a real estate transaction and things don’t seem to be going well.  Take a ride to the planet next door and look at the situation in a different atmosphere.  This little trip may send you right back to Earth.

Melanie Atkinson is a Realtor with The Wood Team at Coldwell Banker.  She can be reached at 813-368-6084 or melanie.atkinson@verizon.net.

Follow me on Twitter @CBMelanieA or "Like" The Wood Team on Facebook.